By Josh Benjamin

Remember those Listerine Pocket Packs that helped you if you needed fresh breath in a pinch? Well, New York Knicks star forward Amar’e Stoudemire now has an answer for those needing an energy boost and without time to grab a coffee or an energy drink. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Sheets!

Gone are the days of choking down a crappy cup of coffee or a foul-tasting energy drink. Stoudemire’s new solution is simple: Just take a sheet.

Where Do You Take a Sheet?

Not only are these energy strips healthier than the aforementioned options—containing just zero calories—but they are also rich in Vitamin B-12 and just enough caffeine to get you going. More importantly, and I speak from experience, they kick in almost instantly.

During an interview, Stoudemire was asked if the solution to the lockout was NBA commissioner David Stern and NBAPA Executive Director just sitting down and “taking a sheet” together. The room erupted.

“Absolutely!” said Stoudemire, laughing hysterically. “That’s exactly what they need, to take a few sheets, man. Get this resolved!”

Ever the comedian, I then chose to mention Stoudemire’s recent charity game with Chris Paul and if the star point guard would join him and Carmelo Anthony in taking a sheet on the floors of Madison Square Garden and once again, the room erupted.

“I don’t know if it’s going to be on the floor of Madison Square Garden,” Stoudemire said with a smile. “But we already take our sheets.”

So, folks, the solution is simple. If you’re feeling tired or worn out and need that extra kick just to get you back on the court, there’s just one thing to do. Take Stoudemire’s advice and take a sheet!

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